Caffeine withdrawal: Not so simple

Is Caffeine Withdrawal a Mental Disorder?

Research seems to show that a certain percentage of caffeine users suffer pretty serious withdrawal symptoms.

I've been rethinking my use of caffeine lately. I'm finding myself increasingly dissatisfied with the peaks and troughs it's creating in my energy and concentration patterns. I definitely believe it helps me to feel highly motivated and focused. I learn more quickly, and feel fully engaged in tasks.

Sometimes, this peak mental focus can last 4-5 hours, or even longer. There have been periods where a single large cup of coffee (8 oz.) can have me focused and productive from 9 pm to 4 am (although, strangely, a single cup of coffee at 9 am never seems to sustain me until 4 pm). I always seem to "get more done" when I've got a cup of coffee at hand.

But on the other side of that peak, as I come down from the caffeine high, I find myself not just returning to baseline, but dipping into a deep trough of mental energy. I begin, ever so slowly, to feel drained, devoid of motivation to begin tasks, as if my brain is starving for oxygen. I avoid what I need to work on, I sit like a zombie browsing news sites or drifting in and out of a talk show or IT conversations episode. I want to nap or watch TV or play video games. I don't want to get out of bed. I move sluggishly between tasks. I cook the simplest meal possible. I forget things. I find myself with a greatly reduced supply of mental energy.

In short, I feel hung over days later.

In my undergrad days, I began drinking coffee as I studied. This began at coffee shops. I would study for hours and hours on end, never seeming to run out of energy. To some degree, I believe age and fitness levels buffered me a bit more from the negative effects of high levels of caffeine usage. But even then, I would have huge crashes after finals ended. I would go home and sleep for 13-14 hours a day for 3-4 days at a time to recover from the tremendous energy drains.

In high school, I did drink a fairly large amount of diet soda, but that only began around age 17. Before that, I remember having much more even energy levels.

I think what I'm slowly acknowledging is that mental energy is malleable and manipulable over a period of hours, but fixed over a period of days. There are probably ways to increase the level of fixed mental energy the same way as one can become more physically fit -- through proper diet, physical and mental conditioning, management of stress, etc.

But in any given period of, say, a week, caffeine can help to concentrate mental effort - but you're borrowing from the future. The fact that you're approaching a "zero balance" on your mental energy account doesn't materialize for a couple days, though, and that's the insidious part. Instead, you feel okay, continue to have a cup or two throughout the day, but suddenly, by Thursday or Friday, or on the weekend, even after a cup of coffee and a diet soda, there is no motivation or energy left. You have the 10,000 yard stare. You don't want to get out of bed, and all you can do is think about trying to get a nap in. You've borrowed from the future, and now the future is demanding you pay back that debt of mental energy.

I credit futurist John Smart with reminding me that, as much as I would like things to be otherwise, evolution has bred into us a certain constraints due to necessary physiological homeostatic mechanisms. And our brain is, ultimately, a physical biological system. Like all such systems, it gets fatigued and needs rest. It's capacity for sustained work is, like our physical bodies, impressively malleable in the short term, but relatively fixed in the longer term. By analogy, I could probably slow jog/walk a marathon today if I absolutely had to, but there's probably not a chance I could slow jog/walk a marathon for three days straight without a massive breakdown which would require weeks or months to recover from. Granted, I'm probably more mentally in shape than physically, but even trained marathon runners or extreme distance runners do not train all-out for 12-14 hours a day. They structure recovery time into their plans. And they spend years developing their capacities through structured diet and careful periods of exercise and recovery to get into such condition.

These principles are compellingly covered in depth by Dr. Jim Loehr and Dr. Jack Groppel, authors of The Power of Full Engagement. I highly recommend the book and a visit to their web site.

So, getting back to the caffeine question: What to do about it?

The simple and obvious answer is to dump caffeine. But the more complete answer is less obvious and more complex than that.

It has to involve a change in behavior and beliefs about the way the world works. I need to shift away from the belief that I can do 5-6 hours of concentrated work at a stretch to one where I only expect I can do 1-2 hours of concentrated work at a stretch. It involves a shift in comfort level from needing to start tasks only if I can finish them, to a comfort level starting and stopping tasks several times without tasting the satisfaction of completion. It has to do with being content to work on something for 20 minutes, then changing tasks. It has to do with recalibrating my expectations of what I can get done in a sitting, a night, or a week - and that affects how I schedule my days and weeks.

In short, it's less about leaving behind caffeine and more about leaving behind a decade-long, caffeine-distorted world view that has deeply shaped my perspective and experience with time, space, work, and energy. It's about acknowledging a different set of personal limits.

A minor headache is an irritation. A few hours of withdrawal-induced fatigue and depression are annoying. I love the taste, smell and experience of good coffee. I love the refreshing fizz of diet cola. But there's decaf alternatives for both.

But changing to a decaf world view? It's going to take some serious discipline, pain, and reacclimation. But as I get closer to starting a new life with my new spouse, I'm ready to re-examine a lot of old habits and beliefs and let go of them. Not just for my own sake, but also for the sake of her and our shared future.